This blog post reflects a much deeper problem than pics of boobs on social media feeds. Yes, it shows the low self-esteem which results from living in a society with great emphasis on specific aspects of female beauty. But, more importantly, it also shows the (potential) shallowness of both males and females in a society in which females are commodified first, and most importantly, by their physical beauty and desirability.

I feel empathy for this woman, but not because her husband might linger over a pic of a babe in a bikini. So what if he lingers there? So what if he lingers over pics of a decadent chocolate dessert? Why should it matter which pics he lingers over? Is he really that shallow and incapable of deep emotional connection with her? Maybe it is all in the woman’s mind, but even so, this blog post is a potent statement about our culture.

What kind of society is this where a woman thinks she is going to “lose” her husband because he sees the bodies of other women and her body doesn’t measure up? This blog post shows extreme insecurity and low self-esteem on the part of the woman, but, if what she is implying about her husband is accurate (it may or may not be), then it shows he is incapable of feeling deep abiding love for her unless she has a body which rates at least a 7, more likely 8+ on a scale of 10. Why would a woman be considered desirable and highly valued only if her body lacks cellulite and her boobs are perky? A man is valued based on things other than his physical appearance — just look around you and you’ll see women who deeply love (and are attracted to) males who look nothing like George Clooney or Mr. Universe.

A woman is not a thing to be assessed by visual appeal and if found lacking she is to be considered “less than” or “worthless” or “disposable”. This blog post shows us the resulting harm of a patriarchal society in which women are objectified, rather than humanized.

When this becomes second nature for little girls, then we’ll know society has truly shifted. 

When this becomes second nature for little girls, then we’ll know society has truly shifted. 

 Why Are There Still So Few Women in Science? 
The same resume, with either a male or female name attached. By all rights you should give the same response… but they don’t.

 Why Are There Still So Few Women in Science? 

The same resume, with either a male or female name attached. By all rights you should give the same response… but they don’t.

Someone asked me today, “What is ‘rape culture’ anyway? I’m tired of hearing about it.”

Yeah, I hear ya. I’m tired of talking about it. But I’m going to keep talking about it because people like you keep asking that question.

Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and though there are dozens of witnesses, no one says, “Stop.”

Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and though there are dozens of witnesses, they can’t get anyone to come forward.

Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and adults are informed of it, but no consequences are doled out because the boys “said nothing happened.”

Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and we later find out that their coaches were “joking about it” and “took care of it.” 

Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and even though there is documentation of the coaching staff sweeping it under the rug, they get to keep their jobs.

Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and one of the coaches involved in the cover-up threatens a reporter - saying, “You’re going to get yours. And if you don’t get yours, somebody close to you will.” – but the town is more worried about keeping their coaching talent than his integrity.

Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, take pictures of the process, and it becomes a source of ridicule along social networks, whitewashing the crime with hashtags.


Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and then joke about it on video – saying, ““She is so raped,” “They raped her quicker than Mike Tyson!”, “They raped her more than the Duke lacrosse team!”, and she was “deader than Trayvon Martin.” – while everyone else laughs. (Warning: this video will make you sick to your stomach.)

Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and the town is more concerned with preserving their football program than the fact that their children are attacking others without remorse.

Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and the mainstream media laments the fact that their “promising futures” have been dashed by their crimes – as though THEY are the victims.

Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and even though she’s been through enough, the 16 year old victim’s name is shared on national television.

Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, but because it happens at a party where both sexes were drinking, complete strangers on the internet argue ferociously that she is to blame for being attacked.

Click to embiggen. Warning: it will make you sick.

Click to embiggen. Warning: it will make you sick.

Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and members of the community issue death threats against the victim.

death threats

Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and it is documented across social media channels, and the media informs us that the takeaway is to be more careful about what we post to social media.

Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and when a cover-up is exposed by a group of hackers, we call them “terrorists” and the culpable “victims.” 

Yeah, I’m talking about Steubenville. Tired of hearing about it? Ok, let’s talk about something else.

Rape culture is when the Steubenville is far from the first instance of athletic clubs covering up sexual violence allegations. See: SanduskyMichigan State 2010Arizona State 2008University of Colarado 2006University of Iowa 2008Lincoln High School 2012University of Montana 2012Marquette 2011, plus this research (and there’s more to find if you dig)

Rape culture is when universities across the country do not report rape to the police, but handle the matter via “honor boards” - ultimately shielding perpetrators from criminal consequences.

Rape culture is when universities threaten to expel a student for speaking out about her rape (without ever identifying her attacker) because it’s harassment to talk about her suffering.

Rape culture is when a comedian has a long history of making jokes about rape and sexual assault, is defended from backlash by the comic community, and doesn’t lose his fan base.

Rape culture is when a journalist says this ….

I think that the entire conversation is wrong. I don’t want anybody to be telling women anything. I don’t want men to be telling me what to wear and how to act, not to drink. And I don’t, honestly, want you to tell me that I needed a gun in order to prevent my rape. In my case, don’t tell me if I’d only had a gun, I wouldn’t have been raped. Don’t put it on me to prevent the rape.

… and the public responds with this….


Rape culture is when politicians don’t understand how requiring a transvaginal ultrasound of a rape victim seeking an abortion is like raping her all over again.

Rape culture is when political candidates say that God sometimes intends rape, and that some girls just “rape easy,” and that “legitimate rape” does not result in pregnancy… and do not lose the backing of their party or party leaders.

Rape culture is when a speaker at a political convention makes a rape joke about a sexual violence victim advocate, and he brings the house down with laughter.

Rape culture is when we spend all our time telling women to avoid being raped by modifying their behavior, inferring blame back onto the victim.

Rape culture is when stunning displays of privilege and willful ignorance combine to create this:

voice for MEN

and this:

no rape culture

Rape culture is when a woman speaks out about rape culture, and gets subjected to this.

Rape culture is when we see ads like these on a far too frequent basis:

belvedere adrape jumpgrossfriendzonedrinkdominos

Rape culture is when you’re tired of hearing about “rape culture” because it makes you uncomfortable, as your attempt to silence discourse on the subject means we never raise enough awareness to combat it – and that’s part of why it sticks around.

So yeah, I’m sorry you’re tired of hearing about it. But I wouldn’t expect us to shut up anytime soon. Nor should we.

UPDATE: I will no longer be publishing comments which caveat the discussion of rape culture with false rape accusation concerns. There is a reason for this,which you can read here

According to him, money is more “important” for men.

He continues, “What you’ve got to look at, and Ann Coulter has looked at this, is you have to break it down by married and unmarried. Once you break it down by married and unmarried, the differential disappears.”

In fact, despite Coulter’s well-known expertise in the field, this is incorrect. A 2007 study by the American Association of University Women found that college-educated women earn only 80 percent as much as similarly educated men a year after graduation. Part of that is attributable to differences in life choices and family circumstances, but not all. “After accounting for college major, occupation, industry, sector, hours worked, workplace flexibility, experience, educational attainment, enrollment status, GPA, institution selectivity, age, race/ethnicity, region, marital status, and number of children, a 5 percent difference in the earnings of male and female college graduates one year after graduation was still unexplained,” it said. After 10 years in the workforce, there’s an unexplained 12 percent gap.

“The idea that pay discrimination is a myth is a myth in and of itself,” says Fatima Goss Graves, vice president for education and employment at the National Women’s Law Center. “Study after study has shown the exact opposite.”

I feel discussions about rape-frequency in any given environment tend to include two disparate mindsets. It seems like all other variations can, eventually, be boiled down to these two. Beginning with such different assumptions, or world views, it makes it nearly impossible to stop the culture of rape. You may disagree with me about that statement. 

Writing them out briefly this morning, I am sure I am leaving out many points for each of these, but this is the general idea.

Mindset 1: is working under the assumption that [some? many? all?] men will rape women as a matter of course if left unchecked. It is part of man’s nature to do so. It is natural and we should expect it and prepare ourselves for it. Women should make choices designed to eliminate this possiblility. Women should take responsibility to protect herself from men who cannot be expected to control themselves. 

(translation: women should limit their lives because men are, by nature, natural rapists. Women should accept this and try to not get raped). 

Mindset 2: is working under the assumption men will not rape women in environments in which rape is not tolerated. Men can, and most men do, exercise the appropriate self-control to allow for the safety of both the women and men whom they encounter. 

(translation: men are responsible for their own behaviors. Frequent rape occurs only in environments where it is tolerated and expected. Change the environment, stop the rape. It is like any other crime: It occurs with more frequency where tolerance exists.) 

Those with Mindset 1 focus on the women. For example: 

* Women should not be in the miliatary unless they anticipate being raped.

* Women shouldn’t wear sexy clothing. 

* She teases men. 

* She is promiscuous. 

* She flirted a lot. 

* She kept going back there (to the bar, the club, her friend’s house, the breakroom at work) knowing he wanted her. 

* Men, unlike women, cannot be expected to control themselves — if they could, they would, but they don’t, so that proves it.

Those with Mindset 2 focus on the men and the environment. For example:

* Men are intelligent, capable human beings. 

* Men can control themselves and their urges, whether it is hunger, sex or anger. 

* Zero tolerance for any harmful conduct requires quick, decisive action. 

* Women and men are equals and are treated with equality as a matter of course. 

* It is unacceptable to behave in ways, or to say things, which focus on women as objects used for sex. 

* Making sexual objectification unacceptable creates an environment where women are not objects to be used for sex, but instead, are equal human beings who may/may not choose to have sex with any given man or woman.

What happens in these discussions is that each person continually restates variations of their own Mindset. Each person cannot understand why the other person is so dense and cannot understand their points. Rarely is someone able to move from one mindset to the other without some kind of personal cathartic experience. The change typically is from the majority (Mindset 1) to the minority (Mindset 2). Mindset 1 is the majority because of the type of society and culture in which we are immersed. Many of those who believe themselves to be of Mindset 2 will, under questioning, find they are actually in Mindset 1 and only feel hopeful about Mindset 2. Again, I think the woman in your video may be just trying to drum up publicity for herself to get more talking-head work, but the reality of the different Mindsets exist, regardless.

~ The Thoughtful Cynic

A 6000 year-old lie

A 6000 year-old lie
By Elaine Charkowski

Patriarchy is a primitive 6,000 year-old, male-supremacist social system created by barbarians. It has destroyed peaceful cultures and has poisoned societies worldwide. Today, we tremble in the shadow of the ultimate barbarian’s war club -nuclear weapons.

"Ecology," from the Greek words "oiko" (house) and "logy" (science) means, "the study of our house"- the Earth.Lincoln said the United States "cannot endure permanently half slave and half free." Mother Earth also cannot endure permanently if half the human race is controlled and enslaved by the other half.

Many woman believe men always controlled them because of “god’s” will. Few women realize the male domination of the feminine half of the human race was a real event occurring over thousands of years in different parts of the world and that men dreamed up the “gods” and wrote the scriptures “granting” them the right to rule women.

Lincoln also said “a house divided against itself cannot stand.” Our Earth-house will soon collapse from overpopulation. Humans are devouring Mother Earth. Her precious children, the birds, plants, fish and animals are being exterminated by too many humans.Reproductive rights for women can save Mother Earth and humanity, from overpopulation.

Until domesticated under the male-supremacist social system of patriarchy, women decided how often to give birth. But today, the population increases by 90 million each year. According to the UN, 80 million births are unintended. The human population grew by 4 BILLION in the last 72 years!

Women’s reproductive rights are human rights. Without reproductive rights, women are reduced to the status of enslaved animals. Like farm animals, most of the world’s women reproduce against their will. This enriches patriarchal economies worldwide with an unending supply of cheap labor, consumers, soldiers and more breeders.

Riane Eisler’s book The Chalice and the Blade documents the existence of Goddess worshipping societies. Men and women shared power; Crete enjoyed 1,500 years of peace! This proves men are NOT naturally violent. Brutality is learned-and can be unlearned. Thousands of carbon-dated statues of women indicate people worshipped the Goddess for 20,000 years. She represents Earth’s forces of life and death which must remain in balance. An excess of life (overpopulation) causes an excess of death (famine, plague, extinction and environmental destruction).

Eisler describes how Indo-European warriors began destroying Goddess societies approximately 6000 years ago. Murals in Crete depicted peaceful activities for 1,500 years but portrayed war and destruction after the barbarian invaded. They replaced the Goddess with violent male gods which “gave” men permission to enslave women. The Hebrews also shared this culture and destroyed Goddess societies.

Women’s’ physical and mental enslavement took thousands of years of brute force and spiritual blackmail (threats from male gods for disobeying men). Archaeological evidence from Catal Huyuk and Hacilar in Turkey includes tombs containing skeletons of one male with women and children. They (his property) were killed when he died. Many women’s skeletons had broken arms from deflecting blows and broken legs to keep them from escaping.

However, thousands of years of beatings, rapes, economic deprivation and social brainwashing was still not enough to subdue women. So, a pantheon of vengeful male supremacist “gods” was dreamed up by men.

Whether it’s Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, Islam, Taoism, Confucianism, Shintoism and some Buddhist sects, women must obey men and their violent sky gods.

Consider these scriptures (written by men);
"Wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands, for the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church."-Ephesians 5:22-24.
"A woman must never be free of subjugation."- Hindu code of Manu V. "Your women are fields for you to cultivate, so go to your field as you will."- Koran 2:223.
"In pain shall you bear children, yet your urge will be for your husband, and he shall rule over you."- Genesis 3:16.

Bill McCartney, founder of the men’s group Promise Keepers, tells men to “tenderly and gently” take back their “god-given” position as “head” of the family (family dictator). Since “god” was created by men, and “scripture” (the so-called word of god) was written by men, the word of god is the word of MEN.

In other words, men have made themselves the “gods” of women! Men do not “play” god-they ARE god! Like their demented “gods” they hurl thunderbolts (bombs) from the sky and strive to be “all knowing and all seeing” (surveillance technology) and want to control both life and death (anti abortion laws, state sanctioned executions AND war!

Simone de Beauvior said, “Man enjoys the great advantage of having a god endorse the code he writes…and the fear of God will keep women in their place.”

Carol Christ who wrote “Why Women Need the Goddess” said to change society, only changes in the best interests of those controlling society are allowed. Since men control society, issues concerning women (ending domestic violence, saving the environment, housing, child care, job training, education, family planning, health care) are underfunded. Meanwhile, “our” 90 percent male government squanders more than $500 billion (five hundred thousand X one million!) on the military annually to “fight terrorism” (from other male-supremacist nations).

Why do women tolerate this? Mary Daly, in “Beyond God the Father” says, “The exploitative sexual caste system could not be perpetuated without the consent of the victims as well as of the dominant sex, and such consent is obtained through sex-role socialization.” This begins at birth and is enforced by the educational system, toy and clothing manufacturers, advertisers, doctors, psychologists, mass media, language, and most of all, male-supremacist spiritual blackmail.

In Webster’s Dictionary, “husband” means “the male head of the household” and “to use and employ to good purpose and best advantage,” (animal husbandry). “Wife” means “the female of a pair of mated animals.”
"Family" came from the Latin word meaning "group of servants."
What happens if women refuse to be “husbanded?” Wife-beating is a “traditional family value.” The “Rule of Thumb” was a law allowing Englishmen to beat their wives with a stick “no thicker than a man’s thumb” to make them obey.

According to the US surgeon general, men battering women is the number one “health” problem of women in America.

Today, NO nation exists where women have the rights of men (human rights). Fortunately, increasing numbers of women are rediscovering the Goddess religion. They believe woman all over the world must have equal rights and that patriarchy must be discarded.

Primitive men, such as the male-supremacist Promise Keepers attempt to turn back the clock but you can’t sweep back the tide!
As Mary Daly said, “The becoming of women in sisterhood is the counter-cultural phenomenon par excellence which can indicate the future course of human spiritual evolution.”